Hating Chris Brown now a waste of time

Nubile pop star Rihanna announced yesterday that disliking Chris Brown was 'taking up too much of my time'. The contrite oxygen thief Brown was sentenced to five years' probation and community service after he unloaded on his then-girlfriend's face in an act of manliness comparable to a 14-year-old throwing his controller at the wall after losing to his sister at Tekken.

But with Rihanna's tightening schedule she has made the questionable decision to spend less time fuming over her bitch-ex and more time being excited about his 'music'. In an interview with Esquire magazine she added that she found it incredible that he could (apparently) make a comeback considering the whole world was against him, what with beating your woman not having been socially acceptable since the 50s, and even then only once she gave you good reason, like overcooking the souffle.

Shortly after the attack, the internet, clearly concerned that domestic violence wasn't hilarious enough, coined the compound verb, to Chris Brown, which has now entered worldwide use as a synonym for striking someone with something. Which is saddening, considering far more brilliant equivalents like brain are diminishing.

The singer also made the news a few weeks ago after being told by the owner of the field she was filming a video in, to cover her shame. When asked if he knew who the screaming fuck he was talking to, the farmer replied that no, he did not, and when illuminated, apologised, that he hadn't recognised Rihanna without her bruises.