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Saturday 7 May 2011

GL3 Stat-Tracker: FIFA 5-A-Side Edition

Anona White
Team Captain

Team Management: Draconian
Training Programs: Sadistic
Tactics: Scorched Earth
Opinions: Unshakable
Sportsmanship: Derisive
Taste in Men: Predatory

Paul Edwards
Striker/Oldfag

Endurance: Barbaric
Savagery: Savage
Passing: Inaccurate
Eyesight: Squinty
Family Guy Knowledge: Academic
Taste in Women: Marital

Mike Grocott
Runner/Ball Boy

Fitness: Impressive
Accessibility: Impaired
Personality: Judgmental
Opinions: Unfounded
Fashion Sense: Pun-based
Taste in Women: Ambitious

James Darrall
Centre Right/Blood Mage

Positioning: Implausible
Accessibility: Laughable
Vocabulary: Extensive
Reason: Confusing
General Knowledge: Unfair
Taste in Women: Exotic

William Franklin
Left Back (at the bar)

Weight: Considerable
Ball Skill: Nonexistent
Footwork: Hilarious
Attendance: Occasional
Music Taste: Better Than Yours
Blood Test Results: Medically Impossible

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